Till we part again

Down somewhere in his heart he was afraid,
would he see her face again,
down somewhere in her heart she was assured,
no matter what he will come back,
he held her hand tight yet comforting,
she held his arm loosely yet restraining,
tomorrow he won't be here,
he had to go to the seas,
smattered by future of his,
will his existence be supersede,
she kissed his cheek for reassurance,
smile on her face was small yet exuberant,
drowned in his uncertainty he hugged her tight,
then looked into her eyes and said,
i would love you forever,
till we part again.

o he was a sailor,
born to explore,
but his biggest exploration was this girl,
when its her to him nothing else could lure,
now he stood on the bow of his ship,
the smooth wind felt like a whip,
she stood on the shore with her gown fluttering,
her lips with dull smile and her eyes watering,
her hand held just above her shoulder,
weakened by the sorrow of his departure,
throat full of emotion felt like smothered,
he can't see her cry and would jump anytime to come to her,
but she refused by waving her head,
because she knew this sea was his world,
He waved her farewell,
as the ship started its sail,
in these moment of separation,
she shouted to tell him how she feels,
"I will wait for you like for always,
and when you come back i want your surname,
and i would love you forever,
till we part again."

He smiled and swept his tears of joy,
her heart was with him,
and with her was his life,
no matters the distance between them,
she was with him,
no matter the time he takes to return,
he would find his way back to her,
he promised her and threw her a kiss,
with love in the air and heart full of bliss,
he would love her forever,
and won't ever part again.

Again you were not there

vexed i am,

perplexed i am,

grinding my head are my thoughts,

my emotions are making me abhor,

filled is my chest with something i dont know,

i have some emotions which i cant show,

something in my mind is very unclear,

Again i needed u and,

again you were not there,

Why were u not there?

i gave you signals,

but you were too busy,

i tried to contact you again and again,

till due to desperation i got dizzy,

i felt helpless,

almost hopeless,

i wanted to hold whatever was within me,

but i was getting breathless,

holding my head i sat,

in my self containing sphere,

Again i needed you and,

again you were not there,

why were you not there?

i know you are not stupid,

not stupid enough to not know,

that something is wrong in my way of talking,

and without your attention it will grow,

but you ignored,

what you want now i am not sure,

what i want i know you won't know,

or might be you would not care,

your life is more important to you,

without saying i have seen this declared,

you know, again i needed you and,

again you were not there,

why were you not there?

listening to the silence

 while walking on the road alone, blank minded and nothing to do,  my eyes stuck on a board. it was a board of elderly's home. don't know why but i automatically turned and went inside that place. 

an uneasy silence was all over that place. dead silence. several old people sitting together but still not talking to each other. two care takers , foul mood and mouthed. like a bad teacher , they were continuously scolding one or other elderly and those unhappy faces following the orders given by their caretakers. 

i stood there, looking at those unhappy faces, trying to feel their pain. the pain which was due to wound on their souls. trying to listen the language of silence in which those old wrinkled faces were talking. but all i could hear was Oh! what is this life and why are we alive? 

suddenly one old woman, around 70 years old came to me and asked, " why are you standing here son? anything needed?" i won't say that she was polite to me, but looking at her made me feel urge to know how does she feel to be in this place.

i shrugged and replied," nothing grandma, just wandering around." 
"ohhh! i thought someone of us got lucky to have their grandson visiting them." the old woman said. i could easily see the sorrow pouring down in her eyes.  before i would have said anything, she moved slowly away from me. and looking at her, i got my answer, how she felt being in that place.

i again stood there on a corner of that place watching all those old people , all of them would be of the age of my grand parents. all were old , wrinkled , tired of their lives, sad and wondering why were they there. after giving around twenty years of their lives to their children, what probably could have they done wrong to pass their last days in this place. 
.
two sad people can never make a place happy. 
.
everyone of them wishing, one day their son or daughter would come and take them away from this gloomy place. but all hopes were dead in those dull eyes. i wondered if even tears would ever come down those eyes. atleast mine had not dried. i could feel the loneliness, they were in. lonely from inside. 
biggest sorrows of their would be , being parents , they couldn't even say to those unthankful beings, who have left them in that place that ," like i am , you would be!" 

after a while, i left that place. heavy hearted. i could feel my lungs not accepting enough air needed for my body. i guess i was filled with the sorrow and agony of that place. 
and in the end i was left with same question like all those old people , WHY?

kaale badal baras gaye, 
ab safed ye asmaan hai,
in budhi haddiyo ke abhi bhi kuch arman hai.

nanhi si ungli thaam ke jisko chalna tha sikhaya,
ab sahara dene me uss ladle ki ghatti shaan hai.
jaan to nikal jaati  is bejan shareer se,
par kya karu ,
in budhi haddiyo ke abhi bhi kuch armaan hai. 


 

On gates of Hell

and i stood on gates of hell,
watching those undying flames,
gatekeeper demanded my soul,
and wanted to me fulfil his claim,
few screams of agony i heard,
and heard laughter of enjoyed game,
i had a hard way to dwell,
when i stood on gates of hell.

gate opened with a shreiking noise,
and inside was a dome aflamed,
human souls were played like some toys,
by child like creature who were deframed,
suddenly i heard a dreadful laughter,
sounded mightier than thunder to catch me amazed,
and suddenly whole place filled with foul smell,
when i found myself in hell.

suddenly out of nowhere came,
metal chains which were red with fire,
they covered my whole body,
with it they burned all my desires,
helpless i fell on floor in pain,
half of me burnt and other half seemed cold,
and my body started to swell,
when i was punished in the hell.

then appeared the devil,
the ruler of this realm,
agreviated, dreadful eyes of his,
nowhere near you could find them calm,
his face looked angry,
still he enjoyed the pain of all these souls,
he smiled at all those poors being,
out of agony who gave up as they fall,
he looked at me, and i were bound by spell,
i saw the punisher of deeds,
when i laid helpless on the floor of hell.

He asked me in sinful way,
how you feel you product of sin,
you killed so many dreams to enjoy,
so many were ashed in your kiln,
i wept in agony,
malencholy took over my soul,
i cried for help but no sound came,
i burnt on that floor aflamed,
sudenly i shouted and woke on my bed,
i was cold so much so,
as if i am back from the dead,
but now i knew the way to live,
the way to repent and live life well,
i dont want to go to that place,
i dont want to see myself on the gate of hell.

There is always a person

how many times have you given it a thought, why there is always a person who comes to your mind before you drown yourself into the sleep. one who always remains on your mind, in your heart or even in you.

why there is a person, whose upward curve on lips turns your whole world upside down. and you would do anything to maintain that curve, that smile you would never want to fade. without knowing the reason why? but there is always a person.

why? those eyes become the best place in the world to loose yourself into. and never knowing how those two eyes become the whole world for you and without even considering the flow of time, without considering the world around you, you just let go yourself in those two universe of yours. why there is always a person who becomes the whole world to you. but there is always a person.

why everything else appears to be worthless when just a person is not around you and why just a moment appears to be priceless to have that person looking at you with a slight smile on face. why a moment, just a moment, when just by chance that face turns and give you a smile, becomes the moment of lifetime for you. why there is always a person, whose happiness becomes every moment of your life. why? but there is always a person.

there is always person, whom you would like to show your talent, your abilities and whatever you are. a person you want to share your true self. a person you would die to get praised by. a person, whom you would want to get impressed by you. you would want to talk to, no matter how much it hurts you when you are ignored by them. a person for whom you would be ready to loose yourself just to have him/her with you. why? but there is always a person.

there is always a person, who is everything for you, no matter what you are for them, a friend, a lover or just a known person. but whenever that person is around you, nothing else matters to you. the person's achievement makes you happy, his/her sorrow makes you sad. you would be ready to become a joker just to make the person laugh and wouldn't mind to be stupid to think one day without even you telling him/her, the person would understand you. but no one can stop you to live in your world of dreams created by that someone. there is always a person who can make you dream in the days with open eyes. but there is always a person.

YET ANOTHER DAY.

here i am . this is me. there is nowhere else on earth i would rather be. I was thinking that how we wake up in the morning everyday and the first thought that comes in the mind differs from person to person. for example... a old person will think, one more day to live. A kid's thought differs according to days like in holiday .. Yahoo day to play else Shit its morning again. A lover boy would think ,wow a new day to meet my fav person on earth. BUT WORKING CLASS LIKE ME and like ME'S, thinks here comes sun mocking over us again, another day to struggle . here comes YET ANOTHER DAY.
i never knew that i will ever love morning,,,,, infact i till now don't know if i love morning or not. generally as soon as i wake up , some stupid friends would send some jolly filled morning message with some spice of inspiration in them . these type of messages are generally deleted before even read. then comes war to conquer the bathroom . then a race to catch the bus. then a war to save yourself from the boss' rage. then war within yourself to focus on your work rather than counting the ticking of clock. after leaving the office war with your opponents who want to capture the seats in the bus. then back to home. wow such a battlefield type of life, we working class youths have. A time before,someone told me about the troubles of working class . now i have registered my name in the " TROUBLES IN WORKING CLASS LIFE COMMUNITY".
well now i know heaven lies in my bed and everything else in the world is hell. I LOVE MY BED . but on other side of night lies a new morning with new hopes and even newer disappointments .this is not the negativity but a practical thing which we all feel. everyone know on the horizon of this night's sky lies YET ANOTHER MORNING.

Changing Words

"Changing words ", well what does that means.  this means the change in our talks with our friend with different stages of our life.

two days before , i was talking to my best friend on phone. we talked almost for an hour and all we talked was about our career , companies , their profit , their repo and all such stinking stuff. and the worst part is , we laughed on the topics like a company gained less than the other. wow! and suddenly a thought came in my mind that what are we talking. going back just 8 months , are these the same topic we talked on, back then. where are all those talks of tafribaaji , friends , girls and flirting. Asking my friends about their latest crush and last break up.
Asking them to give us tips to impress girls and so on and so on and so on ..

thinking all these all i could say is .... " Abey yaar lagta hai ki hum bade ho gaye hai" . we are talking like just all those other grown ups". going back in the time . Time from which i could remember my talks with friend , is my first class. getting time with my friends ,we used to discuss how scary a movie is . trying to show yourself the closest friend of someone. and boasting about yourself and your father . ha ha ha .. those innocent talks ..

then we grew up a little more and started watching action movies , mostly of those Chinese stuff of punching and kicking bags. and discussing with friends . trying to copy them in front of friends to gain appreciation . talking about superheroes and other action cartoon series. and copying their voices. talking about cricket and saying see my bowling action matches with some specific player .

then again we grew up a little more . and then sticking to the action movies only but now with some serious gun and blood stuff . our talks diverged from those flexible bodies of Chinese actors to those stiff muscular bodies of hollywood actors. talking about being captain of our cricket team and arguing on who plays better and forcing all the friends to indulge themselves into the argument by asking them to decide. then criticizing all those strict teacher who punished us in the class and to be clearer , abusing them and then abusing friend for laughing . talking about the video game cassettes and CDs. and discussing how to clear those difficult stage which could not be easily cleared.

then we grew up again ... and little young too... with all the previous talks , a new topic added to our talks ." GALS". we talked about how that girl is , and how some guys are trying to tame her and laughing at how they are so unsuccessful in that . keeping an eye on our looks and then asking friends " yaar chal market chalte hai . festive season hai . Samjha kar". ha ha .

then we grew up a little more. and hard time of studies came in the way .. i still remember the few line of my dad ;;" beta abhi mehnat kar lo fir to life me mauj hi mauj hai"(Son, work hard now then rest of the life would be fun and play). and these lines are persistent from that time till today and i still am confused ki "life me mauj hi mauj" era kab aayega(When that all fun time will come). well whatsoever . main thing was with all the other lovely talks one new topic was added ," yaar how much syllabus have you completed". " yaar i have completed only two units" and so on .  and ya one more thing was added ... planning how to tease a teacher , of course in a legal way. well i remember i and my friend used to frame most irritating syllabus based question to irritate the teacher to such a level that they started ignoring our queries. wow ,,.. so all the luciferian talks and deeds were there in the mind but nothing such as tension.

then we again grew up a little and now we were young. and we all know how we "the youths" are. all the enjoyment of life . each and every single words were intended to extract fun. to pull legs of mates became the main motto of all the talks. and trying to find all the jokes of world is main talks of this age. ( o that lovely college life). some of those super flirt boys were always the apple of eyes of most of the guys. their talks about how they talked to that girl and how they tamed the another one . some other guy who were bitten by love bug had only two talks, how lovely their love is and how a bad time their relation is going from. some other guys are macho type. their talks is centered to all fighting stuff and all the boiling blood talks. some of the other are geek who will tense you by explaining how large the course is and how less time is remaining and then making you realize by their talks that how bad your preparation is. damn on these type of guys .and some are the part of all such talks but atleast all were interesting.

then we grew up to the age where we are just discussing the jobs . our boss. and our profile. our salary and the plans for the increasing it.
looking it how our words change from time to time , it is such a irony that we call this life " one life" when it is divided in so many sub lives.